Sleeping and Praying

Last night we went over to Nona and Grandpa's house for dinner. Their neighbors (and great friends), Lynn and Kevin, made us dinner because Ricki will be sitting Shiva for Great Papa until Thursday. It was very nice and Jonah was the center of attention! Everywhere he goes he brings smiles to the faces of people who see him. They always say "look how much hair he has!" and "he's so big and cute!" and I feel proud because we made him. We left around 7:15 because Jonah was obviously tired (that's his bedtime) and I just crossed my fingers that would sleep well.

You see, for the past week or so (since he's been home sick), the longest he would sleep was 4 hours. Yes, I know that sounds wonderful for an 11 week old, but he was doing 6-9 hour stretches! Mommy wasn't used to waking up so much...but yesterday was his first day back at school and I had high hopes for a great sleep. Well, guess what? He slept for 8 hours!! Yup, you heard me, Jonah slept from 8 pm to 4 am, ate, then went back to sleep til Daddy woke him up at 5:20 to get ready for school. he still doesn't like being woken up, though. As Jeremy was changing his diaper (usually his favorite time), he must have been still half asleep because he started screaming! It was almost like he woke up and couldn't figure out where we was, so he got scared. My poor baby. When he did figure it out, though, he went right back to smiling and giggling. Silly boy!

Well, that was the sleeping part of this post. I am so proud of my little (big) boy! Apparently, I am just not as stimulating as school is because when he was just with me all day he wouldn't sleep. I love school.

Here goes the praying part. For most of my adult life (since I went off to college), I have occasionally questioned faith and prayer. While I have complete faith that there is something (someone?) out there watching over us (call it G-d, if you will), I've never really felt comfortable praying. I just don't know how to do it, I guess. I mean, do you speak out loud? Do you have a conversation in your head? I do that all the time...but mostly I'm talking to myself. How do you get your prayers to G-d? I've been thinking about that a lot lately. You see, today is Baby Scarlett's surgery. They are doing a crainiotomy to try to take out the massive tumor growing on her brain. I need to tell G-d to make sure she comes through this OK, to make sure that the doctor's hands are steady, and to keep Brandi and Chris strong for their little girl. She needs them more than ever. And, if G-d can't keep her safe here on Earth, I need to pray that he keeps her safe in heaven til she is reconnected with her mommy and daddy. It is a scary day.

One of the greatest lessons I hope to teach Jonah is compassion. I hope that when he hears of stories like Scarlett's that it hurts his heart and he has a deep desire to do what he can to help...even if all he can do is pray. But how do I teach him this if I don't know how to do it? I guess all I can do is my best. I hope that Jonah and I will talk about these stories. That we will be able to talk about how it hurts our hearts when babies are sick or we hear about ignorant people abusing animals. Hopefully, those talks, those lessons, will be enough for G-d to hear us.

By the way, it was never my intention for all of these blog posts to be so emotional (dramatic, etc), it just so happens that I started this blog during a pretty emotional time. Also, thinking about being a mommy and trying to do my best everyday brings these feelings out of me. If you know me at all, you know I'm a bit of a crier. Mommyhood makes it worse, I think. At least the first few months of mommyhood, anyway. I fully intend on future posts being much more light-hearted, funny, and entertaining. For now, though, if you have the inclination, please pray for Baby Scarlett's recovery.